My roommate is sleeping. Oh wait…not a plot twist at all because SHE IS ALWAYS ASLEEP!
you're not sorry
I really wasn’t mad when you canceled our netflix date. you said “He wants to go to the bar to watch the end of the game. There’s only like 15 minutes left so we probably wont be there long. I’ll still text you during the game.” I told you it was up to you and I meant it, I wasn’t trying to make you pick sides. But then you didn’t text me until over 20...
Dear New Roommate:
I get that its January and the weather might be screwing with your health but seriously… get up and blow your nose!
I don't know
I don’t know if you are actually taking me seriously or not, but at least I said something. I hope we stay friends. Really bad.
I asked you if you wanted to hang out tonight like three hours ago and you said you were figuring out dinner plans but you’d let me know. and now you text me saying you’re going to your boyfriends tonight because you need to get out of your house cause you’re going to have a panic attack. umm excuse me but you couldnt get out of your house by hanging out with me? what the fuck....
of being pushed aside and replaced is the worst fucking feeling in the world. It makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry for like an hour.
"I can't go...
I need to get some work done” Then your boyfriend tries to sneak out and tun so I can’t see him… Mature.
Guess I’m not seeing you this weekend. You would think you could just make slight modifications to plans so you could hang out with me on a day I would actually be here. Guess it was too much to ask.
That was either
the best or worst thing ever. Sooooo awkward. Maybe you should get your lovin’ on in the room where there is no roommate to worry about.
so fingers crossed that when I texted that you were a hater, you aren’t actually being a hater and are just in the shower or something. Don’t want to seem foolish!
I feel like
I can’t ever please all my friends at the same time. Someone is always pissed. Or upset. Or wondering if I’m upset. Sometimes I feel like yelling “SHUT THE FUCK UP” and then go into hiding for like 3 days. Is this normal?
You make me look like an idiot. every time.
If all you talk about is how your boyfriend hasn’t proposed all night, I will punch a baby.
Most of the time
I feel like I’m bothering you.
I can't tell
If I don’t care you disappeared the last night before break because I’m so happy finals are over and I understand you want alone time, or I just… don’t care. Like the bad don’t care. I don’t think this post makes sense.
Oh and another thing
Don’t complain about how you don’t think you studied enough and then sit there talking the entire time, and look up videos on youtube teaching you how to fucking dougie. You’re annoying me.
I might as well
be a lesbian. Because I can’t get anyone else. PS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your awkward head petting is awkward. Some of us already feel like we are going to vomit, you don’t need to help induce it more.
Once Upon A Time...
whydidyouhavetofollowme: I had a Tumblr. It was a great Tumblr full of pictures of shirtless dudes, inappropriate commentary on life and angry rants directed towards friends and family that I could no longer express elsewhere because THEY FOLLOW ME EVERYWHERE. Tumblr was my haven. Now, the main people that I needed to hate on my Tumblr have FOUND MY TUMBLR. So this is now my venting space. Feel...
Oh hey bitch
"I'm gonna go to bed. I'm tired"
dont be that asshole
It is nice when people use manners but I don’t require it. I’ve said I don’t mind if people sit on my bed so if you are going to be polite and ask anyway, don’t ask if you can sit on my bed while you are already half way there. Now I’m just going to feel like you are an asshole that thinks you are funny. That isn’t a sense of humor, that’s being rude....
I'm really over
You drunk texting me so you can hook up with my best friend. First of all, I can’t make him do anything. He’s a big boy and would be dating you if he had any interest. Second of all, when I don’t help you, don’t try to hook up with me instead. You’re gay. I don’t think I have the parts you are desiring at the moment. And my roommate doesn’t want to...
You really don't have to do that
So I know when you come to visit me in my dorm, you are really just seeing if the person across the hall is there. You don’t have to pretend you came to talk to me or see me. Cause it kinda gives you away when you leave when they come out, and then don’t say goodbye. Just sayin.
I know you can tell I’m sad. But don’t give me the pity back pat. I am not a 7 year old. Also, let’s learn how to act the same around everyone, and not change our personalities based on who we are hanging out with. Gracias!
Must be nice....
To just be able to get over a relationship like nothing happened. Meanwhile…I’ll just be sitting over here…a year later after my breakup and still have days where I want to break down and cry.