I don't have a social network where friends don't follow me. SO... here are my secrets.

20th December 2011

Post with 4 notes

I swear

If all you talk about is how your boyfriend hasn’t proposed all night, I will punch a baby.

Tagged: engagementproposeannoyingpunchbabies

10th December 2011

Post

I’m really over

You drunk texting me so you can hook up with my best friend.

First of all, I can’t make him do anything.  He’s a big boy and would be dating you if he had any interest.

Second of all, when I don’t help you, don’t try to hook up with me instead. You’re gay. I don’t think I have the parts you are desiring at the moment.

And my roommate doesn’t want to partake either.

Goodnight.

Tagged: gaydrunkannoyingget over yourself